Indulge

I couldn't sleep last night. I sat in bed wishing that I was the least bit tired, but my eyes were determined to stay wide open...

I wanted to talk to Blake. I wished he was awake so that I could tell him all the things going around and around in my mind. It reminded me of a merry-go-round. I would think of something for a while that would lead me to think of another something that would lead me to another something. Before I knew it I was back to my original thought, only to move on to the next thought and continue the cycle.

My voodoo mind powers work and Blake talks to me. "Thank you." He says, clear as day. I giggle and say, "You're welcome." I can tell by the monotonous voice that he is sleep talking. He does this when he is REALLY tired. He is tired enough to talk in his sleep so there is no chance of him waking up to have a REAL conversation with me. Oh well, at least I will be entertained.

He rolls over and says, "Young and stupid!" I giggle some more and think of all of the things he could be dreaming about. I come to the conclusion that he is dreaming about President Obama.

What?!!! Did I just type that??? My bad :)

I jump back on my merry-go-round and soon remember something I didn't want to forget, so I decided to get up and write it down.

I ran into so many things trying to find my way. It's funny to me that I can find my way in the dark just fine when I am half asleep going to Riley's crib to feed him, but the night that I am fully alert and awake my feet manage to find everything that makes noise when you kick or step on it. Such is life I suppose...

I finally get to where I am going and turn a dim light on. This, not all the crashing noises I made on my way, is what causes Riley to stir a bit. I write down my genius idea and turn off the light. As I walk past Riley I lean my head down to see if he is still sleeping. He is still stirring, but the movements tell me that he will very shortly fall back asleep.

Staring down at my precious package, I get the urge to hold him. I think it is amazing that certain relationships, such as a mother or wife, are so strong that no matter how much time you spend with someone you always want to hold them more and more. I get that way with Blake and Riley.

I say in my head, "Well if I am going to be up all night I might as well make the most of it."

Then I indulge...I, ever so gently, lift my precious package and hold him close. Tight enough to let him know I have him, but not tight enough to wake him up completely. He sighs and buries his head in my shoulder, almost like he is trying to get the itch out of his nose. He does this when he is tired.

I very carefully climb back into bed and wiggle as close as I can to Blake. Close enough to let him know I have him, but not close enough to wake him up completely.

It is then that I have another thought that I don't want to forget. But this one doesn't have to be written down to be remembered. It is a feeling that makes my whole body relax. I start to feel tired and I am ready to drift off to dreamland. I try to fit in one last thought while I float in and out of conciousness. "What is this feeling?"

And then it comes to me...

I love being boy-trapped...